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Does the Security Guard Guard Security?

Writer: JF BierleinJF Bierlein

We have a sophisticated electronic security system at home

To make sure that our house is secure.

There apparently was some level of insecurity at one time.

Did our house feel insecure?

Did it not feel like it was living up to its potential?

Did it have trouble making and keeping friends?

Did it feel empty and unfulfilled?

(The empty I just don’t get because she is packed with our junk.)

I love my house and accept her as she is

Although I do spend a lot of money on her.

I told her that the electronic security system

Cost a lot more than a gun would,

So obviously I care about her.

But I reminded her

That security is a word applied to a prison as well as to a home.

That created the proper relationship between us.

And now she seems very secure and well adjusted.

But my wife pointed out, with that insecurity

"Why do you think that the house is a 'she?'"

"'Casa' and 'Maison' are feminine nouns," I sheepishly replied.

"Das Haus" in German is neuter," she retorted and snorted.

So, insecurity is not a gender issue, just for the record.

So, people get security because they feel insecure.

Or perhaps because they have been mistakenly guarding their insecurity.

I love you, house. You have many friends.

You are definitely living up to your potential

And you are filled with our books and cat hair.

We have home security

 
 
 

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